I have always felt that women are made for childbirth. God created us. Why would He create our bodies to grow a baby but not make us capable of giving birth without intervention? I can completely understand that in some cases intervention is necessary for the health of mother and baby. Thank goodness in these days we have been blessed to have those options which have saved many lives. I am grateful to have that option if I ever need it.
As I went into this pregnancy I aimed to find a way to have natural childbirth without this thought of pain. I found my answers in these three methods. I really enjoyed reading about the history of birth in the Mongan method. It talks about birth being a celebration long ago and how over the years it became a sinful thing. Because it became a sin, women were shunned when they were pregnant and were put in confinement when birthing their child. Since birth was put in confinement it became an unknown thing and a scary thing. With the uncertainty came pain; solely from the fact that no one knew what a birth should or could look like. I found it so interesting that this is where natural birth started to become tainted. It made sense that with fear came pain. Hearing the horror stories and painful experiences some women have gone through made me worried and unsure that I could handle childbirth. But my thoughts always turned to the women in other countries that could birth their child in the wild and walk back to their village to celebrate. I wanted the birth of my baby to be a celebration, not something I feared. And so this was my attitude going into labor. Now with that back story, here is the story you probably wanted to read. :)
I feel that birth has been tainted to make it seem that it is supposed to hurt and be very painful. But, I have a hard time believing that my Heavenly Father would command women to procreate while making it be the most painful thing in the world. This, to me, seems redundant.
As I went into this pregnancy I aimed to find a way to have natural childbirth without this thought of pain. I found my answers in these three methods. I really enjoyed reading about the history of birth in the Mongan method. It talks about birth being a celebration long ago and how over the years it became a sinful thing. Because it became a sin, women were shunned when they were pregnant and were put in confinement when birthing their child. Since birth was put in confinement it became an unknown thing and a scary thing. With the uncertainty came pain; solely from the fact that no one knew what a birth should or could look like. I found it so interesting that this is where natural birth started to become tainted. It made sense that with fear came pain. Hearing the horror stories and painful experiences some women have gone through made me worried and unsure that I could handle childbirth. But my thoughts always turned to the women in other countries that could birth their child in the wild and walk back to their village to celebrate. I wanted the birth of my baby to be a celebration, not something I feared. And so this was my attitude going into labor. Now with that back story, here is the story you probably wanted to read. :)
I labored most of the day on Thursday February 21st but it wasn't very intense, my contractions were about 7 minutes apart on average. I spent my time trying to distract myself by polishing my nails, watching TV, doing crafts etc. I had been having contractions since 32 weeks, so for me these had become quite normal. I didn’t believe that I was in labor. But, my subconscious was prepping which I hadn't noticed until I started to pack my hospital bag with last minute items even though I wasn't planning on going to the hospital that night. I noticed my mucous plug starting to come out that afternoon which started to worry me. I talked with my nurse midwife, Tina, and she said that the only way to know if I am progressing is to go to the hospital and be checked. Well, I wasn't about to drive myself to the hospital to just turn around and come back home.
Jordan was planning to drive to Cedar that night for an interview for PT school in Vegas on Friday. He left work at 7:30 and we decided he may as well drive to Cedar as we planned. At about 8:30 that night a large portion of the mucous plug came out. I called Jordan and he said he needed to think so I should watch The Office episode where Pam is being distracted from her contractions. I started watching and it just made me feel worse because Pam had Jim and I didn't have anyone. My mom offered to come sleep on my couch but I didn't want her to have to do that. (Sneakily, she called me to find out how far apart my contractions were and if I was able to talk through them.)
About 9:30, two hours into Jordan's drive, I called him crying and told him I needed him to come home. We both had been praying about it and felt that he needed to turn around. I started to get ready for bed to try and get some rest and chatted with Cardin and my mom on the phone for a bit. As soon as Jordan got home (midnight) my contractions went from 7 minutes to 2 minutes apart. At that point they were intense enough that I couldn't talk through them. I knew it must be time to go. We got back out of bed and started packing the last minute things into my hospital bag. Jordan kept trying to ask me what I needed and when I wouldn't reply, because I was in the middle of a contraction, he started to get anxious. After I explained that I couldn't speak during them and he understood.
We left for the hospital and Jordan and I chatted the whole way there, between contractions. The guy in the emergency room asked if I could walk myself up to labor and delivery. I said “I think so” as another contraction started and I grabbed onto the back of some lady's chair. Instead they grabbed the wheel chair and Jordan wheeled me upstairs. As soon as I changed into a gown, the nurse helped me get situated and then checked my cervix. She told me that I was dilated to a 9. According to Jordan, the nurse looked up surprised and made a “let’s hurry and prep this room” kind of motion to the other nurse. But, I didn't believe her. I thought to myself, “she measured wrong, there's no way that I could already be at a 9, I will wait until Tina gets here and she can tell me.”
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| 9 cm dilated - last pic with my bump |
Jordan went down to move the car and they called Tina. Labor progressed quickly. Soon the contractions were on top of each other. Jordan stayed by my side and held my hand as he gave me water and ice chips in between contractions. I stayed on my side as I started to feel the baby coming down. My water started leaking around then and at one point I remember hearing a 'pop' and water gushed everywhere. My eyes stayed closed during most of this time as I was trying to solely concentrate on breathing and relaxing my body that constantly wanted to tense up. I decided to sit up at this point and as I would bear down and breathe through the contractions, the nurse put pressure against my legs. The nurse asked me multiple times if I wanted to push, but all I could do was shake my head ‘no’ in response. I started to get annoyed with her constant asking.
Jordan stayed by my side the entire time and cooled my head with a cloth. He stayed calm and would tell me how great I'm doing. I am so glad he was there; I would not have been able to do it without him. I ended up pushing a bit which wasn't what I wanted but breathing my baby down wasn't going fast enough for me. Tina told me to feel down there, I felt what I was told was her head, but it felt squishy and soft- not what I was expecting. Tina then told me that soon I would feel a real burning sensation; it started to feel like sticks were poking at my skin where the baby's head was coming through. I knew that couldn't be what it was but I didn't open my eyes to find out.
It was such a strange place that my mind was. I didn't care what was coming out of my body and that Jordan was seeing much more than I ever wanted him to. It wasn't how I thought I would feel, but I'm glad I was able to put those things aside. At one point I remember thinking to myself “what am I scared of? Why am I holding back?” Once I could reassure myself, that everything would be okay and to accept my last few moments before my life would change forever, then I was able to progress. With a few more pushes, and Tina unwrapping the umbilical cord 3 times from her body, I was able to reach down and grab her. My baby was finally in my arms! In that moment it was all worth it. The pain soon left as she was put onto my chest. She was slimy but I didn't even care as I held her.
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| a bit emotional in the first moments |
The nurses cleaned her up a bit as she cried and I tried to comfort her. It was that moment that you have always imagined. Holding your baby in your arms for the first time. An amazing feeling of relief and joy ran through me as I held back the tears. I looked up at Jordan and could tell that he felt it too. Jordan cut her umbilical cord. He took her over to get weighed while the placenta came and I received a few stitches. I was then able to breastfeed. She latched on right away which surprised me as to how easy it was. I nursed her for 10 minutes on either side.
She was born at 2:54am- just over two hours after we arrived at the hospital. It was such a crazy and amazing experience. It went quickly, which was a blessing. I know the Lord answered many of our prayers that night. As we held our baby, we knew she had just come from heaven.
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| proud daddy |
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| a few hours later |
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| she is the sweetest |
Oh Tessi - you captured this story so beautifully. You're wonderful!
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